The 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman
I have spent a great deal of time planning and thinking of the first book I would post here. I had a great plan laid out for my first real post, I had ideas from clients, friends and family and in the end, I have decided to just stop and start somewhere, not with the best book ever written or the greatest in-depth book on emotion, therapy, wisdom and self-awareness. Instead, I am posting a book I talk about often; if you have worked with me and I have not! told you about this book then you are one of only a few as this is a must-read.
The goal of this book is simple, to show you the 5 main ways that we show others affection and also how we perceive affection. A simple goal with huge importance and relevance to anyone in any sort of relationship be that with friends, colleagues, family as well as partners. Now for those who don't like "wishie washy love stuff" wake up! as this book is an amazing 'how to guide', full of very helpful practical advice and steps you can follow to show your partner more affection and thus get a lot of brownie points.
Does your partner jump for joy when you buy flowers or worse they die of dehydration the very next day? Do you get moaned at for not ever helping around the house? That you never listen to anything they tell you? Do you hate how you do endless DIY or cooking but no one says thank you? That you long for just a kind word or two from your partner. Do you hate how they peck you on your head or do you find it upsetting that they ask for more physical contact. Do you feel they don't care because they will not give you just a bit of time to sit and relax together? Yet they have endless time to fix the car or do their hair. Did you resent your parents for not buying you that train set or pony or that they never played board games with you then? ...
You were both speaking different languages
Imagine the following scenario
Partner 'A' grew up with parents who took her out to the park, to the zoo, they sent time together walking the dog, they read her stories at bedtime and asked how school was.
Partner 'B' grew up in a busy household with a single parent working two jobs but he received everything he ever wished for.
Partner 'A' will be upset that partner 'B' can not find time to go for a walk and yet spends hours fixing the car. Partner 'B' resents how little interest partner 'A' shows in the gifts he buys after working all the hours under the sun to keep her happy.
If you are speaking Klingon and your partner speaks French then this book is for you. It will help you see and understand the 5 main ways we show and receive love and also help you find out what language you speak and also what your partner speaks.
This means you can meet in the middle and both win and that if you just change a tiny bit you can receive a huge boost to your relationship and happiness.
I don't want to give to much away but the 5 languages are:
Gift giving, (not necessarily bought, a homemade card, a flower picked in the park)
Quality time (time where you are together doing the same thing or focused on each other)
Words of affirmation (saying nice things about them or what they have done)
Acts of service (you fetched that item from the shop for them, you put the kids to bed to give them more time)
Physical touch. (not necessarily sexual, holding hands when out, a hug when they are doing the dishes,)
This book can be found on Ebay, Amazon, it is in audio on Audible and you can even get it free from your local library.
Enjoy reading or listening and enjoy the benefits that follow